hooray!! it's finally holidays!haha..after much awaiting, it's finally e period when i can relax and have fun (:

hmm, anyway, i still have two more hurdles to go, which are the A lvl exams. haha... i hope that i can pass them with flying colours!

well, i spent yest doin my I&R, and afterwhich went out to find JILU. haha..

as for todae, goin lib to study with him.. haa, normal routine for a typical sunday (: lolx..

hmm.. i hope that it will be a good year ahead, and everyhting will go smoothly and well for me (: haha... sound like chi new yr resolution. lolx


A07's bear bear

my proud baby (:

Collin Raye - Love, Me. (1990)

selemat hari raya to all my muslim friends (: haha..hope u all have a good time, and collect lots of green packets! haha..

alrite, todae's a public holiday, n i spent e day tryin to fix some bear for the competition. haha, well, e end product was kinda sucky, i thought. haix, nvr mind, that's e first time i ever sewed so many cloths. haha.. so pardon me if e sewin sucked.

oh ya, i watched last samurai jus now, and it's a nice show. i really admire those samurai who strived to hold on to their roots at the expense of their lives. the scene whereby they continued to fight with the enemies, despite several bullets had penetrated through their bodies, made me wanna cry. at this stage of the world, globalisation is takin over the global, and how many countries or natives dare say that they are not influenced by globalisation? i doubt there are few existing in the world right at this moment. well, the impacts of globalisation are indeed rewarding, but somehow, it might also turn out to be a blessing in disguise. therefore, it is really crucial that one ensure it's unique culture and tradition will able to survive the huge influx. haha.. do i sound like i am writing a GP essaY?

tml's moderation day, so lessons will be ending at 10 am. HOWEVER, there is some impt meeting at 10, and it's compulsory. sian!! afterwhich, i still have to go for ogl interview. haha, i'm kinda nervous cox it's been so long ever since my last interview which was like dunno how many years back. haha..i hope that it will be successful (: and at 3.30, i got another rehearsal for prize givin... haix..

haha..nvr mind, i shall be more optimistic, at least holidays are arriving soon (:

yawns, gonna slp. really tired though i nvr did much today. haha.. good nites everyone!

saturday again! haha.. but this week was diff from e rest cox jav didnt have to work, so we could spend more time together! well, so we went cine k box in e mornin, and sang till ard 1 plus. haha..then we shopped ard for his hp screen protector in orchard but to no avail. BUT, we werent discouraged. after which we went yishun cox he had to go temple with his mum, and we reached there early, so we explored northpoint, and continued our hunt. haha...

THANKFULLY! we found the screen protector cox it was quite "RARE" in spore. haha.. so happy (: thereafter, we jus walked ard in e shopping centre, and there werent much things. haha... we met him mum while we were watching the CD track album for princess hours! haha..

after e short visit to the temple, we back to northpoint and grab some food, then we came back to boon lay. on e way back, something occurred, so we ended up going home after tat without having dinner. hmm... so right now, i'm kinda hungry.. stomach growling..haha.. but there's nth at home. haix..jus bear with it lor, later go slp then not hungry le.

divert--> sometimes life's full of ups and downs. changes are bound to be there. the matter lies whether how well u are able to adapt to them, and make everything positive for you. one might wake up at the wrong side of the bed, meet with some unhappiness in work and studies, but these reasons arent strong enough to deter u from moving on. not achieving e stuff u yearn for at the moment doesnt equates to ITE ( it's the end ). it shld be seen positively such as the motivation to make u work harder to grab ur goal. i believe in reaping what u harvest. efforts need to be put in, and there's no such stuff as waiting for a good harvest without planting good seeds. i do admit that luck plays a part as well, hence some ppl might not gain something even though they have given their all. but i also believe that a person will not always be unlucky, so long he/she continues to strive harder, i'm certain that he/she will soar to great heights one day! (:

i dun mind sharing with the ppl reading my blog. i believe that so long i can help a person in another way or so, i'm perfectly fine in sharing my personal experience. no satisfaction can be greater than that by knowing your words have helped someone to become a better person. that's why i aspire to be a councellor since young. before i got carried away, i thought i should continue with my story first.it all happened one year ago, when i was in sec 4. as u all know, sec4 was an important year cox we had to sit for our o lvl. unfortunately, my attention was being diverted away from studies due to certain stuff. i got carried away, and somehow, certain illness was also developing itself in my body, without me even realising it. it all came into light when i ponned school for 2 days. during the 2 days, i went to woodlands library, and i lied to my parents that i went school. it was only till my form teacher who called my parents and asked if i was alright, then i was being exposed. i could vividly remembered that day. i was nervous, i knew that it isnt right to skip school, but somehow, i felt that i was suffocating from the studies. i jus couldnt seem to get those facts into my mind, and i needed a break, so i committed that act which nearly ruined my life. i went home after loitering in e city area, trying to figure out what has happened to me. i couldnt, i was in tears, in a state of confusion and despair. no one could help me, everyone was living in the world of theirs, that're what i thought. i reached home, crying and feeling ashamed of myself.i thought i will get an earful from my parents, but they proved me wrong. they were so worried abt me, and they even thought that i will not go home that night.in my 16 years of life, i have never ever seen the expressions on their faces. (those who knew me well will understand the emotions which were running through me when i saw them)

since that night, i realised that i was suffering from depression. thankfully, we realised that early, before it got worse and i did something foolish. definitely, there were prices to pay for my actions. my status as the secretary of SC was being removed, my studies got affected, but what's worse was the guilt building up in me. i dared not face my classmates, especially my good friends. they were so disappointed in me, and they blamed themselves for not showing enough concern for me. i felt really bad at that time. nevertheless, despite my actions, they never gave up on me. theit care, as well as those from my parents and friends, played a crucial role in enabling me to walk out from the darkest days of my life...

my o lvl results were affected as a result. yeaps, i came from a goos school, and the best class which was filled with brilliant and intelligent students. i felt inferior to them, as my results werent as fantastic as theirs. they ended up in prestigious schools such as NJC, HC, etc, while i was stranded at the other side of the line. i told myself that :" rouisanna, u shldnt be beaten by that. results matter, but as compared to perseverance and character wise, it is not that important."

these words have gotten me this far today.i worked hard, and did my best, and finally, after a year's of hard work, i succeeded...

my purpose of revealing my unsightful past is to encourage people who face difficulties to continue to move on, and for those who feel that they are inferior to to others, i want to bring across the idea that comparison will not take up far. ONLY COMPARING YOUR PAST SELF AND UR PRESENT SELF CAN DETERMINE YOUR ACHIEVEMENT AND TAKE YOU FURTHER. walking out from the past isnt as easy as it is. some people are being haunted by past experiences that they developed a phobia towards certain stuff, and they refused to give it a try. however, how do u noe that the outcome will be the same when u never even give it a try? admitting defeat without even trying isnt the best solution, for u will always be stuck in that vicious cycle. for those who are trying hard, i'm really glad for you, and i hope that u will continue to work hard. it all requires time and patience; it's not overnight effect. believe in yourself and i'm sure the people around you will sense ur changes for the better. i assure u that the happiness and satisfaction derived are definitely greater than that of scoring good grades!

give others a chance by giving urself a chance! (: live life positively!

woohoo... at last, thurs had passed, even though there are another 3 more hrs before it struck 12 midnite. haha..thankfully, we didnt have to stay till 6 for chi cox it was being brought forward to 3.30. haha, so lesson ended at 4.30, and home sweet home (:

anyway, though today's a long day, but somehow, i felt that i only came to sch for chi lessons. e rest were kinda slacked, so it wasnt too bad. hmm..oh ya, i handed in e ogl form, and hopefully e interview on mon will be alright. haha..actually, i'm kinda excited and nervous at the same time. excited cox it will be fun to mingle with the J1s during orientation camp next yr, nervous cox i'm scared that i will not be able to catch up with my studies, hence i hope that i can succeed in any case (:

well, somehow, i was one of e prize recipients for J1 prize giving ceremony. but till now, i'm still not sure i won wat? lolx.. nvr mind, i will find out tml. hmm.. i hope that i can continue to work hard and achieve gd grades next yr! haha.. it's another week before my J1 journey ends. it's kinda fast, and before i knew, i'm goin to J2 next year. good luck rouisanna, u gonna work really hard! haha..

tml's jj drama fair, so good luck to all who are performinG! haha..put up a spectacular show for us (:

holiday's coming.. before i forget, there mite be a job attachment organised by e jurong rotary club, and hopefully i can join in as well. haha..it will be so fun and a good learning experience! jus have to pray hard that there will be opportunities for me (:

hmmm..i'm harvesting an evil thot now...wahahah.. not goin to tell u, but it's not goin to harm anyone..wahaha...

Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem,

Goong MV (Completely)

ohhhhhhh...i love that song. it's so nice and beautiful written..

almost here~
Brian:
Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian:
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Brian:
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
Delta:
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Brian & Delta:
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Brian:
Cause I know I'm almost here

Brian & Delta:
Only almost here

hmm..time passed quite fast today. i had my pw rehearsal today, and it was not too bad. haha, jus have to do some slight changes and talk to myself in front of the mirror. lolx.

nth much happened in sch today. haha.. well, my throat's getting from back to worse, and the weather is really bad. it kinda irritates my throat to the extent that i drank finish one whole bottle of water before the lesson ever started at 8 am. sickenin haze, so sttttuuupppiiidddd...

anyway, these 2 weeks gonna have quite a number of holidays. haha.yippies! hmm, maybe i will not come to sch on one of these days (: haha.. plus i am sick, so got valid reason..haha..

yeap..tonite there's princess hours. haha..i simply love e female lead actress, she's simply so adorable, n i think she portrayed her character well (: u guys mus watch! i hope the ending will not be disappointing!

lul loves the princess, but she was married to shin, the crown prince. haix.. seeing the one u love marrying another guy was indeed hurting. on the other hand, shin's heart isnt with the princess but with the other girl.. who deserve the princess better? i'm kinda at a lost too, so let's see how's the ending (:

i have uploaded some mvs of princess hours, and these mvs habe great songs.. do enjoy (:

Princess Hours MV - Destiny

Goong - Stay MV

hmm..finally sat has arrived!! can see jav darlin, but actually yesterdae i had already seen him, so doesnt really make a diff.. haha.

well, i went bugis to look for him this aft, and we had lunch together before heading to westmall to get his specs and hp. wow..that's quite alot of money, yeaps. haha..lucky him (: yeaps..so half of e afternoon was spent lookin ard for his stuff. so after a long long day, he finally got the stuff he required. after then i went home.

i dunno..jus have some mixed feeling. well, same routine, tml gonna go library. haha..it's a standard thing for us to do every sun. lolx.. goona write my script for e pw presentation tml. siannnnn...

haix..another week is goin to pass. i jus wish that holiday will be here soon, but at e same time, even if it's here, i will also be slackin at home, which can be bad as well, since i will be so bored at home. haix..see mixed feeling again..

i hope to do somethin fun, and nice..but somehow i dunno what i wan to do, plus doin nice stuff alone isnt my intention too, so i will jus brush it off then..

okie, another week is startin again, and it's tormenting, cox it means i have to bear for another 5 days again.. gosh, it's e same old thing. haaaaiiiiixxxxx..... somehow, e misses have caused me to become numbed, and life isnt as fulfilling or anticipating as in e past yeaps.. tat's what changes are abt i guessed.

hmm, i hate to admit it, but somewhere deep inside, i think this feelin is overwhelmin me, and causing me to drift further..

it's wed.. two more days to seeing jav. i miss him alot..

well, today it's kinda short day, cox there wasnt interact, so i was home early, doin the OP slides for PW. argghh..sickenin PW! anyway, at least i managed complete my part (: haha..

hmm, i have gotten back all my papers except econs. haix, i'm kinda worried abt econs, cox i heard that not many ppl did well. sian.. but anyway, watever it is, i know i give my 101%, so there's no regret. hmm, till now, i'm still satisfied with my result, cox it kinda hit my target. haha..

haix, my gum and teeth are killin me. it hurts, and i dunno y. i jus hope that it's not wisdom teeth! arghh.. my stomach's bullyin me too. had been runnin to the toilet a few times, but luckily, it kinda stopped after awhile, so thank god..haha. i dun wan to kena stomach flu..

well, i dun really hav much to blog abt. tml's another long day, till 6 pm. kinda dread it.. i dread thurs the most.. haix :(

TIME PLEASE FLY! CANT TAKE IT !

haPPy belated birthday sweetheart javier! happy belated birthday zalikha! haha.. may both of ur wishes come true (: haha, jav got his girl, zalikha got her shark (: haha..

well, it's a new week to begin with. it's been 4 days since i went to sch, haha, so e feelin of wakin up early at 5.30 is quite sickenin cox i have been slpin till 9 plus when there's no sch. haha.. anyway, everyone's quite anxious and worried over their results, i'm not excluded. hmm, i'n kinda worried abt my econs and GP, cox i dun think i can do well. haix, but wat's done already done, so i jus have to get over it. i thot i will get back geog today, but e teacher said most probably next week, so meeanwhile i have to be kept in suspense. well, thankfully, i hit my target for maths (: haha..*delighted*

haha, how do i spend my weekend? haha, half of my sat was blown up by tat stupid chinese test. it's really stupid, cox imagine u r talkin to urself for the oral exam??? first time havin such an unique experience.. haha. so i was basically sittin down there doin time from 2-6 pm. wat a nice sat..

hmm, as for yesterdae, i spent nearly e whole day in e library studyin with jav. hmm,it's a bit dry, but no choice, he has to study, so i jus keep him company. haha.. i jus realise that chem can be quite fun if u get the hand of doin it, but i still believe that i'm not a sci person. * sorry for not bein able to help u much for ur studies*.

hmm, i heard that some of the movies shown recently are not bad, for instance world trade center, you me and dupree, stay alive, etc. i feel like watchin world trade center cox it's based on e true acc on the 911 attack, plus my friend told me it's worth watchin and will make e audience drop tears.. haha, so anyone who wanna watch, there's me here (: haha..

26th oct, e end of term and e end of J1 journey. it's been really fast, 1 yr is goin to end soon. haha.. hopefully i dun haf to go back sch for some activities such as extra lessons, cox i will SCREAMMMMMM.. wahhaa

haix, got to do pw..sian..i jus hope that PW will end fast and soon!

alright.. i jus blog for e sake of blogging.. haa..

hmm, i have finished my promos. well, i jus hope that i will hit my target, but even if i cant, it's ok, cox i noe i did my best and studied really hard. so it's time for me to reward myself.. haha. to those who are havin their mother tongue paper tml, u guys mus work hard and bear with it, and we can all say that " PROMOS ARE OVER!" haha.. u guys also deserve a good rest (:

anyway, i went to bugis todae cox someone wans to see me terribly. haha, i had lunch with jav darlin, then he went back work while i went ard doin window shoppin. i also went to e temple and prayed prayed for his ah gong. i hope that his ah gong will be alrite, and blessed! after that, i realised that i have been walkin for like 3 hrs, and there was nowhere for me to walk anymore, so i went to library to read. haha.. after which i went back to raffles hospital and accompanied him to his sch, then i went home. haha..

well, i am a silly girl, i noe that. well, my surprise for him has somehow diminished, and i hoped that he really like it, and not say nice stuff to make me happy. but anyway, i did my best le, so i hope he appreciate it (: hmm, actually i wan celebrate with him de, but some stuff happen in his family, so cannot le. i jus hope that he will be affected too much, cox ah gong will be alrite!

hmm..haha, wat can i blog abt? goin to slack ard for these few days, nth to do at home. sian, sat still nid to go for some exam, and the most troublesome thing is that we need to have a recorder. excuse me, y e hell do we nid one, and it's not as if everyone owns one. sian... argghhh.. this thing is troubling me la..

nothin much to talk abt le. haha, mooncake fest is comin, here wishin happy mooncake festival ! (: