happy teachers' day!

hmm.. i have many things to blog abt, but i dunno where and how to start..

well, i will start from this morning. we had set the mass yoga display record, despite the weather wasn't really in favour of the activity initially. the school was bound on setting the new record, so we did the yoga in the rain.

well, i nvr went back to nhss today. i was thinking of goin out to meet my sec friends aft that, but i decided not to when i heard some bad news.

i dunno why, i was quite calm when i heard that my mum's mammogram had some problem, and i dunno how to react. i did not really say much thing, but i was quite disturbed by it. she went back to NUH again, and underwent some minor operation to take out some tissue for testing. aft two weeks, the result will then reveal if it's positive or negative...

i hate this. i feel so bad last nite. i dun wish to talk about it anymore, but i just want to say sorry to lesley. i hope she will be okie and be happy!

holiday has started today.. i dont really have any plan for this holiday. arghhh. gosh, things have not been well for me recently. i jus hope the overcast skies will clear soon, and be lit with beautiful rainbow after that.

anyway, tml is the 9th mth anniversary. yeah, i'm sorry to say this, but i have no mood to celebrate anything now..


haix..it's so sad that i'm not working, or else i will have fork out money and go on a short holiday.. haix..

it's time for me to be once again embraced in the nature, and find the world of my own...

MEOW~~~

i jus realised how frightening the sound made by the cats can easily freak me out. those ppl in jj shld noe that we have a stray cat wondering around in the canteen, and the cat is quite adorable in some ways. however, with another big fat cat around, it's another case. i was having my meal and the cat was eyeing my food, and it jumped onto the chair beside me. well, i screamed! lolx.. and the next thing, it was giving out some funny and deep sound, and there was a big FAT cat nearby. i was so afraid that the cats were goin to fight, or worse MATE! lolx..i tried to move, but i was too scared to move my limbs. haha.. luckily, the two cats went away after some continuous moaning...

i had my AQ test todae. damn, i think i'm gonna fail. not kidding. it's tough!

anyway, i went to my ah ma hse yesterdae. it's been so long since i last went to visit them, and haha, i'm still happy to be there. my ah ma was so nice, she cooked my nice stuff for me (: hee...

anyway, my ah ma knows that i am goin to study in university next time, and she told me parents that she will help to pay some of the school fee. i was so touched when i hear that from my dad. she's goin to enter her seventies soon, yet she's still working to earn money. i admire her diligence, but at the same time, my heart was also aching. i know that my grandparents might not be able to live a good life like the other ppl of their age, and the thought of that never fails to make me cry.

i have since grown up under the care of my grandparents, and ppl who know me well will definitely know that i am closer to them than my parents. i really want them to see me have a career and i wan to provide for them as i grow older. maybe this is wat the chinese says as " bao da ta men de yang yu zhi en".

i am really grateful that i have such nice grandparents who always care for their grandchildren. they had really played a huge role in cultivating my present character and personality, and i thanked them for what they have done!

ah ma ah gong, i love you!

javier darling, u mus take good care worx! ur tough days will be over soon, so bear with it for a few more days! ganbate choco boy! muaccckkksss (: mushhy.. haha..

Snakes on the plane! i thought the show was quite successful in predicting certain fears a person will have when he is on board an airplane. haha, and the kinds of stuff the deadly snakes can do to a human is what we usually imagine too, for instance, snakes comging out from the toilet bowls and bite ur private parts... oh gosh..ouch! lolx. it's a bit sick, but indeed, i have developed that kind of thinking since young (:

anyway, i was being scared several times durin the movie. Snakes gouging out people's eyes, coming out from the body of a dead person, a python swallowing a human, and biting the woman's nipple, etc, all these scenes were quite gruesome, but it kinda reflected what we fear a snake can do to us. an advice to everyone, dont ever do something funny in the toilet cubicle of an airplane (:

well, it's saturday again! haha, we went toa payoh this time with lesley to get some teacher's day presents, and hopefully, lesley can catch sight of zhi yang, the campus superstar champion. hmm,she failed to achieve this, and we went to sizzler to have salad bar. yummy, i love everything, and the ice cream the most(: haha, despite it was kinda distorted as compared to lesley's and javier's, i was still proud of that cox it's known as creation and thinking out of the box! haha...

nth much today. i am so tired now. goin to sleep soon, and goin to ah ma hse tml!

woohoo.. yesterdae was a meaningful day for me cox it's my first time donating blood.i was feeling excited and nervous at the same time, cox it's been so long since i had a needle pokin thru my skin. haha.. but in the end, i still plucked up my courage and go for it! i felt so satisfied that my packet of blood can actually save 3 lifes, haha, i am a samaritan (:

the whole process of waiting was indescrible, but the moment i saw my blood oozing out and flowing into the packet, i felt so good. i have overcome the fear of having needles being poked into my flesh, and the pain wasn't that extreme. i thought it was jus a littbe bit more painful than an ant bite. haha..

before being allowed to donate our blood, we have to go for blood test to see if our blood contained enough iron, and sadly, two of my friends whom wanted to donate so badly couldn't do so. but nevertheless, their spirits of wanting to help others were being appreciated! well done zalikha and faz!

todae was not too bad, jus that my stomach hurt till i couldnt tolerate that i nearly burst into tears. haix, i never drink cold stuff or eat any cold food, but why in the hell will i still get cramp? haix.. nvm, at least i felt better aft eating the panadol..

well, dun think too much javier. be happy that you can go overseas and have holidays, cox ppl like me cant even do that. so while you can enjoy it, you should do so happier. cox it makes me feel sadder since i dun even get the chance to do that. so be happy!

haha, today was jus another simple and ordinary day..

anyway, PE was quite interesting today cox we went to do the obstacle course, which includes climbing over the wall, and an activity whereby your hold onto the railing and flip yourself over to the other side. haha, it was my first time climbing the wall, and definitely it wasn't really successful. haha.. so in the end, most of us ended up climbing over the wall with the help of our classmate. haha, there's a girl from the next class who was so funny, cox she scared that we couldnt support her weight. well, i think i'm heavier than her, since i can get over, she surely can. but anyway, in the end, we finally managed to her over (:

oh ya, our sch had the blood donation drive today. and once again, the idea of donating blood shot into my mind again. this time round, most of my classmates showed interest in it, and i was kinda afraid and excited simutaneously, cox it will be the first time i donate blood. cool (: haha.. i jus scared of the pain when the needle was poked into my skin. haha.. i'm goin to concure my fear! and after than, i will feel a huge sense of achievement. haha.. btw, i jus start to lose blood today, so i hope there will be enough blood for supply tml. lolx.

hmm, the hope of getting exempted from econs was dashed cox of my overall topical test. haix.. wasted. but nevertheless, at least my overall 60 per cent grade is still an A, so not too bad. well, getting exempted or not does not really matter. perhaps the good thing is that there is less to study and we dont have to go sch for that subject. well, i have gotten my timetable for promos, and the good thing is that my exams ended two days earlier than the rest. hee...

well, nothing to blog abt. haix, tml cant go for interact again cox of some chi lessons till 5 plus. i miss the ppl at MINDS, and it's been so so long ever since i went there to interact with them. hopefully next week i will be able to make it (:

goin to do my stuff. holiday comes soon, but even if it arrives, i think i will have nothing much to do and most probably be rotting at home while some of my friends will be having short holidays. i'm so envy of them. it;s been so long since i go on proper holiday.. haix. but it's impossible for that to be fulfilled, cox i have no money (: lolx.

i shall not be so depressing whenever i blog. i should use a more heart-lighted tone to pen down my thoughts and feelings. haha, so to commence this change, i have also changed my blogskin. haha.. hope you guys appreciate it.

anyway, i came to know that i am exempted for my chinese language for promos. well, that isn't too bad, cox at least i have one subject less to study for (: but anyway, promos are coming soon, but i think i will start my revision next week. i wan to enjoy myself fully before i embark on a strendous mugging process. haha..

i was lookin back at my previous entries ever since i owned a blog. i am someone who likes to reminiscence past memories, and recollecting memeories while glancing through the entries is a process which i enjoy alot. haha, that's a saying in chi called " wan shi zhi neng hui wei".. that's very true indeed.

well, this week doesn't really has much thing to look forward to. hmm, just hope that everything will progress smoothly for me. haha..

nothing much to talk about actually. haa...

i'm all alone at home now. my parents have went out to my grandma's house, while my sis went for her church stuff. well, but i'm not boring cox i have stuff to do.

i went to J 8 yesterdae, nothing much over there.

well, actually, there wasn't really alot of happenings. even if have, i have no intention of remembering them at all.

anyway, i have to learn how to make him trust me. it's gonna be tough..

hmm, will ppl laugh or mock at you when the farthest place u went to is Malaysia? and when u have nvr visited the most basic place like GEnting Highland?

maybe..i realise that i am jus like a frog being cooped up in the well. i have never experienced many things before, and i do know that some ppl will develop the idea that my vision is beign restricted to certain areas only.

anyway, if they wan to laugh or say anything, jus let them. it isnt an offence not to have taken an airplane before. it's not stated that everyone has to visit certain place by a certain age.so, whatever it is, so long i nvr do anything which go against the law, i dun care what other ppl think.

perhaps my childhood years aren't like the others.or perhaps i'm not as fortunate as the rest whereby they can enjoy many stuff which till now, i have never ever done before. maybe that'y i am trying so hard to achieve success so that i can go and try the stuff which i alway s want to do, go visit the place i have nvr been before, in the future.

i dun wan any sympathy. there are ppl who are worse off than me. so please dont do stuff which you think that it will make me feel better when it actually makes me feel worse. but, nevertheless, i appreciate it alot!

i realise that my blog entries are so negative lately. and it somehow reflects that me and him are havin some trouble. haa, even my sis's friend who looked at my blog asked her if i am ok, or are we having some terrible disputes. well, maybe it's true. the frequency is very high lately, but ever since the one which occurred last nite, any misunderstandings have been cleared. so we are back to normal now. haha..

javier, i know that i have not been a good gf for the past 9 months. i have neglected the most fundamental stuff, resulting in the consequent quarrels. i'm really sorry for causing all these. i cant guarantee that we will not quarrel next time, but at least i will try my best to give you the sense of security and trust. i will not deny if i do anything wrong, and i am prepared to face the music. hopefully, you will be there for me, and guide me along.

a 21 yr- old guy with a 17- yr old girl. people are shocked, thought that we are not going to last, he was jus playing fun or cheating a young girl, while i was trying to get some company. haha, all these comments are really common to us. yes, we are 5 yrs apart indeed, but that does not stop us from being together. does it necessary mean that a guy and girl of the same age or different by 1 or 2 yrs will always find happiness together?

i admit that our thinking might somehow be different, but he tolerates my behaviour, while i seek to understand him. i guess it's really compromising. i believe that's an impt factor in ensuring a relationship to last. many people have been asking if i am gonna marry him, and we are going to become husband and wife. haha.. i guess it's the way we handle everything. quarrels are part and parcel of life, and i'm not afraid in letting ppl know that we are quarreling. face the music together and progress further. it really makes us treasure each other more everytime we argued, and everytime we do so, it makes it more difficult to leave each other.

JILU? people are curious when they see this. i shall make it clear here. listen up everyone, JILU means JAVIER I LOVE YOU!

javier, i wan everyone to know that i am not playing with you. you might not have total trust in me, but i do hope that one day, that 40 % will be what i deserved, and not out of sympathy. yes, it did hurt when you say that, but i appreciate that you are still willing to tell me that. should one day anything happen, resulting in either of us havin to leave each other, you are still the one i wan for life..

how do i live without you, if you ever go..
how do i ever, ever survive...

i can finally heave a sigh of relief..i got back the results for my common test, and most of them are up to expectations, except maths. haix..never mind, i will work hard for my promos (:

this morning, i went for some chinese riddle competition to be the audience. well, we thought it will be a competition, but it was just the opening ceremony. we were dismissed early, so i had abt 1.5 hrs break. haix. it's kind of stupid. what's worse was that i had another 1.5 hrs break before econs, and another 1.5 hrs break before chinese. gosh, totally sucks to the core. luckily, chinese was being brought forward earlier, so at least i get to go off early.

hmm, nothing much about today's lessons. it was jus simply me crapping and laming alot till my friends thought that i have gone nuts. no la, i was just trying to bring laughter to the class.. so did i do a good job??? lolx.

anyway, for civics today, we did some conflict management thinggy, and i realise that i am an " owl". haha, which means i am someone who will retreat or give in to prevent quarrels from getting worse. and owls have very high expectations of themselves, which is good and bad. setting high expectation will motivate me to strive hard, but setting too high an expactation can do more harm than good as i will tend to feel EXTREMELY upset if i cant reach the target. so i guess i have to make realistic target or else i think i will suffer from depression sooner or later..

well, basically there isn't much to blog abt. i was just blogging for the sake of blogging. lolx. going to be sat soon!!! haha..horray (:

jaiver, mus drink plenty of water cox ya not feeling well le. dun keep playing com till forget to rest worx! remember, ya can carry me if i am sick, but i cant carry you if ya are.. so must take care of urself!

bad day start...

sometimes i guess it's really true that guys dont understand girls. they might think it's okie to do something, but in the girl's prospective, it's different. i did try putting myself into other's shoes, but this time round, it's different...

having bad dreams aren't what i wanted. never mind, no one understands. i am not avoiding. i will not get angry, disturbed if i think this way.. maybe this will regain my confidence.

i am not trying to stop you from making friends. i know everyone has e rights to make friends, even friends of opposite gender. ya can say that there's nth wrong with ppl takign e initiative to know you, but what i am feeling now is how ya feel when ppl approach me and say "hi" in wlny.

you say i am understanding. i am not. it's always me who is thinkin too much which leads to all kinds of disputes and stuff. i admit that. i am an emotional girl who thinks alot. i dont want to think too much, but there are just alot of " what if " in my thoughts. i am someone who needs a lot of security..

i dunno. i am confused. my feelings are mixed at the moment. i jus nid a few days on my own to clear my thoughts.

i am so terrible and so useless. i did nth to help but jus create more mess. in the end, we end up being upset. i'm also tired of the frequent arguments, but he's not to blame. i am the one who always start it, not cox i have nth better to do, but i jus feel we are drifting apart. indeed, i think that we are not as close as before. it's all my fault. are we really drifting apart? tell me seriously if you feel that way...

will there be a day when i suffer from depression and shut everything from entering my life? maybe...

well, i received back my goeog paper todae. hmm, i got a B grade, which is better than what i have expected. nevertheless, i still improve (: however, this isn't the case for my maths. i'm quite disappointed that i got a C grade. haix, i could have gotten a B, cox of my stupid careless mistakes. but i have to admit that the paper was tough, cox we only had a person scoring A for that subject in our cls.

i think my econs is going to be terrible. i think i cant even get a C for that. haix. i know myself. as for chinese, hopefully at least i can get a B. so i gotta pray really hard then.

hmm, i watched My Super Ex-girlfriEnd yesterdae with jav. hmm, the moive was okie, jus kinda crazy though. haha, imagine breaking the bed while havin sex??? yeaps, exactly, that's what being shown. lolx.

though common tests were over, this doesn't mean that there are no more tests this term. i have quite a number of tests to sit for this week, so i kinda dread this week actually. i jus hope that this week can fly past as fast as possible.

hmm, wonder if it is a bad new or good new when i knew abt *something*. it reminded me of something which had happened in the past, and i was afraid that something might happen btw us. i seriously have no idea wat will happen, but if it's really fated, there's nth i can to stop it.i can only accept it and walk away...

today went sch, but i wasn't in e mood to study at all. i was so sleepy throughout the day.

anyway, i got back my maths paper. kinda sucky, but i shld be grateful that i passed cox half of the cohort failed.

came back home. after that went gym with darling. haha.. managed to lose some calories, but i gained all those calories or even more after the meal at billy bombers. oh gosh, the cheese fries were so huge, the salad was nice and the dessert was superb! haa, gonna wake up in e mornin to climb stair tml, cox i found out that climbing stairs can lose alot of calories (: hopefully i can do it!

it's gonna be weekend tml. yeaps, dunno wat to do tml. haha..

xue ting, dun worry okie? ur dad will be alrite soon. ya mus also take good care of urself and mus eat lei. ya eat so little only. haha, god bless ya n ur family (:

hmm, i heard that e movies recently shown are quite funny. i wanna watch the click and my super ex- girl friend. hmm, actually i prefer to watch click, cox i heard that the ending is very sad, despite it looks like a comedy to me. haha, hoepfully i will be able to catch the shows soon (:

hee, darling, i love u ! JILU (:

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Physical Touch and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		9
Quality Time:		9
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		3
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

i enjoyed myself yesterdae, yet it was at the expense of something else...

i had a meet-up with my sec sch friends yesterdae at marina during evening time. we went to the esplanade park to catch the firework! i could only say it was gorgeous. haha. anyway, we din had our dinner as every eating outlets were so packed with people. nevertheless, we bought a cake to celebrate hanyu's bdae, so it somehow filled our stomachs temporarily. we waited for ard 1 hr plus before we caught a 15 mins-firework festival.

aft the thing had ended, we actually planned to have dinner at bugis, but the thought of going all the way there to have dinner kinda suxed. before we embarked on a food hunt, we met yew seng at citylink (: we were so freaking tired and hungry by the time we found food, but i was hungry till i had no appetite, that i jus drank milk.

after finishing my drink, i had to go off cox it was quite late. tam and i left earlier, while the rest were still there. though it was a short meet-up, but i still had fun with them.

hmm, the bad thing was i angered someone cox of my actions. never mind, let's not talk about that. i knew he care, and i really tried my best to rush back asap aft i found my "dinner", but i was still late. sorry about that. though i was with my friend, but i am always thinking of someone, whether what he was doing, had he been good and have his dinner, whether he was tired and stuff. i knew he was also doing that, wondering if i was being taken advantage of in the crowd, whether i was home safely.

haix, well, i hope it was over now... anyway, i shall upload the videos of the firework soon (:

haha, my EOM's completed. hopefully it will not be rejected (:

anyway, this mornin i received some msg from some ass**** who thinks that he can use money to get the " thing" he wants. oh gosh, i was so furious and i told jav abt that incident. that guy really deserves some scolding and beating, pray that he got some sexually-transmitted disease for his action! oops, am i too harsh?

i had loads of fun yesterday with javier and lesley. we went east coast park to cycle. cool, it's been so long ever since i rode a bike, and haha, i still manage to grasp hold of it. actually, i wanna give roller-blading a try, but i was afraid i'll fall till badly. haha.. i dun wan to end up with bruises everywhere (:

back to topic, the whole process was quite fun, and it was really a day off for all of us, i supposed. common tests were over, so it's time for us to have fun and take a break (: oh ya, i would not forget someone who bluffed me that he dunno how to cycle, ya noe who ya are..i'm goin to punish ya, naughty boy!

after which, we went bugis cox darlin wanted to buy flip-flops. haha, but unfortunately, there isn't any over there, so we jus kinda walked ard. we headed back to boon lay ard 5 plus, and went jp for awhile before meetin his family for dinner. haha, this reminded me of those several cold, lame and funny jokes that we had. wahaha, mus ask my friends for more to humour ppl (:

dinner was at bukit batok, the food was quite nice. lesley was so funny cox she was like saying " that person looked like liang zhi qiang" when the person indeed was him. lolx. hmm, guessed she was in a daze ??? lolx.

after makan, we went to the civil servant club which jus opened recently. the place and atmosphere was quite nice. the bad point was that it was situated on a slope, haha, so kind troublesome, but thankfully there's a creation called lift. hehe.. there were bowling alleys, ktv lounge, mini " wild wild wet" , and a beatiful garden. i liked the place actually, haha...

while the rest headed back to westmall for movies, i went back home. i was so tired upon reaching home, went for a quick bath, came online then bedtime!! haha.. well, i woke up at 9 today, if i dun have to do my EOM, i will have sleep longer. haha..

anyway, next week will be great! so many holidays, i wanna go out everyday..haha, but it's quite impossible. tue booked by friends, wed and thurs empty, sat booked by darlin.. sun shld be stay home time! haha..so anyone bookin me on wed and thurs mus have their reservation set faster !! wahahahahahaha.. crazy me.

COMMON TEST IS FINALLY OVER!!! haha, i feel as if a large stone have been removed from my chest now. well, even though i think i am going to flunk some of my papers, but nevertheless, i still deserve some good time (:

hence, like what i promised earlier, the first thing i did was to send msg to my friends and ask them out for a meet-up. cool, not too bad, the response was quite good. right now, i cant wait for next tuesday to arrive quickly, cox i am goin to meet them for dinner at marina square. haha..

anyway, to A07 ppl reading this, mr xu wen feng have sent ya ppl regards and said that he will be back soon to tell ya all lame jokes again. haha, which is most probably 11 months later. he is doing quite well over there, so dun worry. meanwhile, he asked ya all to take care and he missed us!

i'm rotting at home now. i feel so sian, suddenly i have nothing to do. feel like going out but dunno where to go, plus no one accompany me. actually i plan to do my EOM, but i gave up. haha.. i'm so lazy! i cant wait for tml to come quickly, at least i can go out. haha.. save me!!!

oh ya, thanks for all the ppl who have shown ur concern towards me during the ct test period time. i was really quite stressed, and ya guys have been really nice to care for me. thank you thank you.. and i'm really sorry if my previous posts have been so pessimistic. well, dun worry, it's over, so i'm back to the jovial and " perfect" girl once again. haha..

smiles!!!!!! haha * grins*

I Believe in You

a great song sang..
i fall in love with this song the first time i heard it..
it kinda motivates me, and i assure u that u will like this song too..
go and listen and u will know why...

i'm so pissed and frustrated with myself. i jus can't seem to accept the fact that i studied so much, and yet in the end, i'm going to end up failing my papers. i should have not studied at all if i know this is going to happen, cox at least i will not feel so upset and disappointed.

i admit i am in a foul mood now. i want to free myself from all this disturbing thoughts , and have loads of fun out there. i'm like a bird cooped up in a cage, but the gate of the cage is left opened. it's up to me to decide if i wan to do free myself and "fly" out to seek my happiness. i really want to.. i know there's only two more days left, and i am really trying my best to focus. arghhh.... i'm goin nuts.

i dun care. i'm goin to have fun aft my tests. no one can stop me. i wan to go and do the stuff i like, frequent places where i like to go, and perhaps, go on a short holiday if possible. yes, this is the kind of life which i should be having. everyday staring at notes and books aren't going to make me feel better or increase my grades further.

you can say that i'm obstinate. i don't deny it. once i set my mind on accomplishing certain things, i will complete it.

anyway, i think that common tests are really giving me alot of stress, cox like what my clsmates had said earlier today, i have become lamer and crazier. jellyfish balls or jellyfish's balls? faz, maybe ya can provide an answer to that question?? haha, u like balls alot, does't you faz? oops...
i'm goin to be dead if she saw this. maybe u can consider letting me off if i provide u with a human-sized pic of jellyfish?? haha..

goin to study again. haix.....