SUNDAY!

haha.. feeling so much better since yesterday. i had finally sorted out my thoughts. sometimes, pushing urself too much will do u more harm than good. so long i do my best, and give my best shots, no matter what is the outcome, i will accept it cox i know i have never let myself down (:

i cant' wait for common test to be over soon. i miss the times when i can slack around and i wan to meet up with my sec friends asap. it's been so long since i last saw them , and hopefully, i will be able to use my " power" and gather them together for a meet-up! wahaha... rouisanna has extraordinary power over them. ya noe y? cox... my lameness never fails to make them laugh! wahaha..

haha..anyway, my dad has very kindly installed air con in the room, so i have been slpin in an air-conditioned room for the past few nights. hmm, it's so comfy, feel like snuggling in the bed. haha..

well, i got to bathe. meeting javier later on. he must be sleepin now. he's really a pig, but nevertheless, i love my pig. haha * grins..oink!

hmm, jus gonna write a short entry..

today's wednesday, which means common test is gettin nearer by each day. well, i jus wanna get that thing done with as soon as possible, cox i really cant stand it anymore. i'm losing my sane everyday..arghh..

anyway, i had to stay back today actually for some stupid rehearsal, but i decided not to turn up since i mite not be goin to sch on tat day when the real " investiture" takes place. jus a waste of time i think, and besides, i have better stuff to do than listenin to some crap ^.^

life really sucks to the core at times. someone was pmsing early in the mornin again, rambling about some self-discipline stuff which simply pissed me off. i guessed i wasn't the only one who was annoyed by his "haha" nonsense. darn, even the vp felt bored too, since he was also fidgetin, removin and puttin on his watch for several times, while that pmsing man kept complainin non-stop. haha..

meanwhile, all the best to my peers who are participatin in ppp! haha, dun be nervous, ya guys can do it!!!

to him: i'm really alrite that the plan cant work. ni you zhen fen xin, wo yi jing hen gao xin le. dun worry, this time cannot then next time. it's not ur fault cox my schdeule cant meet the plan's one, so dun feel bad abt it.

very tired now. mentally and physically. gonaa sleep for awhile then go joggin later on...

9.00p.m.

so flustered now.. i seriously dunno wat i wan. it's not tat i dun wan to have anythin. the problem is tat i wan to have almost everythin. i'm so confused, so paranoid, arghh..

give up. give up. jus give up. i'm so sick of leadin such life. studies, everythin,. jus forget it.

no one knows the tears i have bottled up so long. jus released it all girl. no use keepin it all inside. u r jus goin to hurt urself..

so, jus stop torturin urself. wat's e point of gettin gd stuff when u r down everyday? it's meaningles..life has more beautiful things waitin for me to discover.

cry. my only means of reliever. now then i realise, no one can do anything to help me.

sorry for sayin that. i know there are ppl who care abt me. i have to disappoint them. i cant go on anymore. i'm afraid of losin my sanity.

free urself....jus do it.

Countin down to common test, and i am left with 8 days! not that 8 days magazine, okie, not funny. but anyway, reality hits me hard on the face, yes, it's 8 days to common tests, but lookin on the bright side, 11 days before i enjoy a good break (: haha.. i mus mug and work hard, haix. stress again.

anyway, i have been pmsing lately,and the tension of the upcomin tests are nearly causin me to break down. yes, my clsmates thot that i can still be so lively and happy in school, but when i'm alone or with him, my temper gets onto me, and i will start to vent my frustrations and worried. well, sorry javier, i haven't been a really nice person to get along with lately, and i really appreciate ur encouragement and the sweet things ya have planned for me aft my common tests. tat's the motivation which keeps me going strong and makes me " lookin forward " to the tests, cox it also indicates that fun time is near the corner as well!

*before i forget, congratulations to you for being accepted, and ya mus work hard! a new journey is starting for you.. embark on a good rest to rejuvenate urself for the future!! *

qy, if u'r readin my blog, i jus wanna let ya noe that i miss ya guys lots, esp ya and tam! dun be discouraged by ur results and continue to strive harder! goin to meet up with ya guys soon aft my test! haha..meanwhile, promise me to take good care, and bully wp and zhao wei as much as possible!! wahahaa

my shoes are finally torn. should i be happy or sad? i personally like that pair of shoes, and i'm not in the mood to do any shoppin durin this period of time, plus I DUN WAN TO SPEND MONEY! haha, i'm not being stingy, but i jus wan to save money. but anyway, i will jus look ard tml when i go far east tml. oh ya, i've nvr really like far east, even though there r lots of stuff there. perhaps i jus dun like crowded places? maybe.

eyes closin soon. i'm really tired and exhausted, and i like the fact that tml is a weekend. however, i still gonna wake up early to study chinese, so that i can go out in the afternoon. haha, time management is comin in handy now. hoepfully, it's useful FOR ME!

today, while we were havin our meals, we were talkin abt UFOs and ghosts. well, do u believe in UFOs or ghosts? well, i personally believe there are defintely some unseen stuff ard us, but as for UFOs, i'm not too sure abt that even though there are cases whereby it was reported that UFOs were being spotted. haha, i guess it really differs for everyone. perhaps only experiencing it themselves will then convince and change people's opinions abt some stuff...

yawns* gonna sleep. good nites everyone! hee..

i'm goin berserk from all this last min revision. i still have lots of stuff which i haven studied!! haix, i think i'm gonna do badly for common test this time round. period.

this two weeks gonna be tough for me, not only do i have to mug really hard, but i also have to sacrifice my weekend with javier to spend time at home with my " dearest" notes and books. arghh..i hate this! i seriously think tat i have no life! i dun wan this too, but i jus hope to do well for at least one subjects so that i can be exempted from takin promos at e end of the year. studyin has really mercilessly snatched my youth away! so it better repays me back with something beneficial..

anyway, we had civics yesterday, and once again, it revolved around sexuality education. DO YOU LOVE ME?? WHAT IS LOVE?? hmm, the topics were a bit ridiculous, and the discussions were mainly about PDA ( public display of affection). well, i seriously couldn't believe that anyone in this world could possibly make love at the playground!!!! oh gosh, what has this world become? i personally think that the most extreme i will go is to kiss in public ( a quick peck and not french kissing) . nowadays, youths have become so open( cox of americanisation??? haha ) , and they aren't a little shy behaving intimately with their gf/gf. well, i mean, aren' they aware of all those stares and glances being cast on them, aren't they afraid they might see someone familiar while they are "enjoying" the physical contact with each other?

i dun think i will have the courage to do anything funny or action which will attract too much unnecessary attention in the public.this leads me to another urging question? do u think it's ok for us to hold hands while wearing sch uniform? i feel that it's okie to do so, so long it doesn't goes beyond that stage, i think it's perfectly alrite to do so. well, come on, couples holding hands are common sights in s'pore; it's not as if you are nude and holdin hands rite? duh. haha, so if next time u r being caught, just said that you are shakin hands with him/her. it's a form of politeness, unless it's bein stated u cant even shake hands in sch uniform (:

btw, i have difficulty pronouncing " th-ank" and " treasurer". this is bad. interact installation rehearsal went smoothly, and hopefully this will repeat itself durin the actual installation on next wed. haha, i realise tat i tend to stick out my tongue when i said the wrong word or pronounce wrongly, so it will go this way: " a very good evening....invite to the stage. th..( stick out tongue) oops, i'm sorry. "

goin to bathe, soooooooooo not feeling like doin anythin!

3 more weeks to common test and i haven't really done much preparation. i'm gonna be so dead la.. i think everyone is experiencin stress now, cox the topics bein tested are so many, and most of them requires memorisin, and tat's somethin which i suck at. :( i hope that i can get exempted for some subjects durin the promotion exams, so i have to work really hard to achieve that. ohh..these 3 weeks are so tough!!! common tests over quick!!!

today's lessons were still alrite. we thot that we would be havin sexuality lessons for civics, but unexpectedly, we were given a task to create a cheer for racial harmany. well, tat wasn't too bad, haha. it was always full of laughter, and this time round we got faz a new name. haha.. monkey facce.. zalikha ya better dun laugh too, cox ur name wasn't any better. " hou zi hong pi gu"... only e two of ya will think of such names... but nevertheless, ya two are so funny and entertainin, cheeRS!

as for PC, we played soccer with guys from other class, and even though guys were in control of the ball most of the time, at least my group gals were still not bad, esp lastrina, she was so pro! we played for quite long, and it was only when the ball had to be returned then we stopped the game. overall, it was quite fun, and hopefully we can play soccer tml for PC again (:

haha, my clsmates were so funny, they said that i had a perfect life, which was so not true. i guessed it was becox they thought that my results were good, i have a bf, and i have time to complete everythin. haha.. it's true that i have a bf, and i can complete my work, but for e results thing, i beg to differ. sometimes, i really hope that my life will be perfect, without any flaw, but i do know that is impossible, unless i owned everythin in this whole world. i jus wan a simple and carefree life without worry, that's all i ask for. haha.. simple girl with a simple wish??? lolx.

oh ya, i jus went to the old cathay cinema on sunday, but it had been renovated. the theatre is spacious and new, and the air-con is freakin cold. but nonetheless, i like the place quite alot. haha, so next time if ya dunno which cinema to go for a movie, give a thought abt tat (: when do i become the spokeperson for cathay cinema???

alrite, i goin off..to sleep!!! hee, i'm a pig. goin to mug tml. ganbate!!

it's been so long since i last blogged. haha, you can say tat i'm too lazy to do so, or i'm too busy for tat. but anyway, i'm back to update (:

actually, there were not many impt or interestin stuff to talk about. lolx. i jus had my A level chi oral exam on tues, and it was not too bad, as the conversation topic coincided with the composition our teacher had asked us to complete earlier. grins* haha..

i had been really lethargic recently, and i have been sleepin in canteen durin breaks. i could jus close my eyes and fall asleep, till my friends woke me up for lessons. lazy pig!

we were bein released early today for there was moe excel fair for e teachers. wahaha, so it meant we can go home early and slack!!! the bus stop was so crowded and the buses were fully occupied. darn. hence, i walked to the previous bus stop with my friend to catch a bus, and after a long strendous wait, we finally aboarded the bus. well, luckily students from all schools are not dismissed simultaneously daily, or i will have a horrible time (: phew...

hmm, anyway, i have to be the emcee for the interact installation, and i have no experience in being an emcee. scary. hopefully i will not embarass myself on e stage, for i always have a phobia that i will trip when i am walkin along the steps leadin up to the stage. haha.. tat's so humiliating la.. i dun think i will ever be an emcee again should such incident really occur.

hmm, javier got me tickets for ndp preview tml, and initially tat "dear" sis of mine wanna accompanied me, but she abandoned me for her church service. tat's so annoying. but i'm still goin to watch the preview tml, it's jus tat i dunno how to go. oops..yeaps, i seriously have no idea how to make my way to national stadium, since i have nvr been there before. haix.. hopefully some kind soul will help me, and the thought of goin home alone dampens my spirit. well, i jus hope that the preview will be nice, and the fireworks will be gorgeous to compensate the loneliness then.

i remembered last year, on national day, my friends and i went to marina to have steamboat. last year's ndp was at padang, so we could see the fireworks from the area. haha..i remembered i ran all the way outside jus to catch the firework display cox we were eatin indoors. i love firework, and the way it lits up the dark sky. woohooo...

hee, i got a crazy idea since young. dun laugh ok? it's rouisanna's dream... i wish tat my husband can propose to me at the beach during nighttime, and suddenly, fireworks will appear on the skies saying " will you marry me?" .... so romantic. hee, i'm daydreaming la...

haha, recently our cls has been discussing issues about marriage and getting pregnant. wonder y, but it's really funny and interesting to know wat ur friends think abt marriage and life aft tat. you might think that it's too early to think about such stuff, but i thought it wasn't this case. who knows i will get married earlier than what i have expected?? haha..

and yesterday's civics lesson was so funny la, all cox of zalikha. we were havin sexuality lesson and tat girl was spouting some stuff about " long and thick" , " hairless", " how many inch " and stuff. then aru said somethin like " can u put in ur mouth" .... well, everyone was laughing their heads off and u shld have seen ms lin's expression. wahahaha. aren't we so pure???

i gtg. seeya darling. miss ya lots! sorry for yesterday worx...

happy 7th anniversary javier! haha..thanks for ur gift, loves it alot (: haha...

continue later (: